Brittany Rebecca Helton

Thank you so much for watching over me. I appreciate more than you will ever know. The BS drama has stopped (as far as I am concerned) from the CRAZY one in PA. You must have really gotten to her for what she was doing. The things that she was saying were completely out of line and she really needs to get herself some help. Even now that you are gone, she is STILL obsessed with you. I feel sorry for Wesley! He seems to be the only ‘normal’ one in that house. I hope he escapes too before he ends up with the same fate that you had.

We miss you so much. Tomorrow is sister’s birthday and you are not here to call her and sing to her. You are not here to send her a message on facebook or text her and tell her Happy Birthday. I’m so sad for her. She misses you so much and sometimes I think she does not know what to do without you. Please continue to watch over her. She needs you and if this is the only way that you can be with her, then please don’t leave her again.

I love you so much. I have been thinking about you alot and wish that I could turn back time to August 3rd. I wish that you would have called me or messaged me to let me know how you were feeling. I would have come to get you with no questions asked. I would have helped you get out of that crazy house and bring you here where you should have been all along. At least you would still be alive. There are so many people here who love you and would love to have you back.

I know that you can see them, but you should SEE how big your baby sisters are getting! Sheridan is getting ready to go into middle school! Can you believe it? Remember when she was born. You were such the good big sissy. Always wanting to help with her and wanting to hold her and play with her, even though she was only 2 weeks old! You used to say to me ‘Mommy, where’s the baby? Mommy, can I feed the baby? Mommy, can I hold the baby?’ I think you would have been happy that Christmas with just your baby sister. And then there is Tee. She is getting so big, and the bigger she gets, the more she looks like you. It’s like you are still here with us, but in her. She is such a funny little girl. Very Random! Much like you!! She will just start talking about things that no one was talking about. It makes me laugh sometimes.

Thank GOD for all of your sisters. Without them, I would have just dug a hole next to you and would have gone with you. Some days, I am surprised I am still here. Seeing them everyday definitely is a reason for me to keep on going. That is all I can do.

Rest my sweetheart. I love you…always have, always will

Hey baby, I’m in a bit of a funk today and I am sure that it has to do with all the depression I have felt for the past 8 months. I have my good days, but then I have days like this where I don’t want to function at all. I feel lost and I feel as though a part of me died with you died. I never imagined that any of my children would die before me, and then you did. I never imagined that I would have to talk to people about suicide and that we lost you because of it, but I do. I get a little hesitant when people ask me about how you died, but then I tell them. All they can say is ‘I’m sorry’. It’s not their fault. It’s what you felt you had to do. I hate it, but ultimately it was your decision and no one can change that.

I miss you so much and sometimes I feel like I am going to die from a broken heart.

We have had some really bad weather the last 2 days. You must not be happy. I am sorry for that. I hope that one day I will be able to make you happy again and take away all the pain that you had to endure while you were still here. I wish for so many things, but mostly to have you back with us and HERE where you belong, not there with the people that are responsible for you being gone now. I hate that you are gone and even if you wanted to talk to me, you cannot now because you left us. I hate that I cannot reach out to you and tell you just how much I love you and that I always did and the things that you were told were not true. They were all lies and I know that you know that now. What I truly wish is that you are no longer suffering and in pain and that you can finally have some peace in your afterlife. I know that we will meet again some day and I will be able to ask you all the questions that have been running through my head for the last 8 months. You were so loved by everyone and we are just at a loss about why you did what you did. We miss you and want you to be happy. I know that you are safe now and that no one will ever be able to hurt you again.

You are one of the 5 loves of my life….

like I do everyday. I have pictures of you above my computer at work, and I look at your smiling face everyday. I wish I had known that you were hurting so badly. I wish you had just said one thing to someone so that we could help you. I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did. I wish that I could turn the clock back to that day that I left Germany without you and your sister. I did not have a choice to take you. Your father hid both of the passports so I could not do anything. I wanted to run away with you both and he refused to let me take you. If I had known then what I know now, I never would have left. I would have dealt with the drama of him cheating and leaving you and I and your sister to fend for ourselves in a foreign country. I would have refused to leave without both of you. Ultimately, he is the reason why you are no longer here. You should be here with us. You should have been here for my birthday and for your sister’s birthday. It is not fair that we are sad because we will never get a call from you to say Happy Birthday or just to say Hi. I hope that one day I am not angry at what you have done.

I love you….from day one I have always loved you.

Ben took me and Sissy and Brother to Disneyland this weekend for my birthday. It brought back memories of when you came out and we all went to Disneyland. That was one of the best trips that I have ever had. I had you and sissy with me and everything was ok in the world. I wish that you were with us again this time. Now my babies are adults and we are missing you. I want to do things like that with you. I want to be able to have conversations with you and be able to go on trips with you, but that will never be able to happen. You are not here and it’s not fair that I can’t have celebrations with you like I can with the other girls.

I love you sweetheart and I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did.

So, just when you think that everything is ok, the lies are continuing. It’s really sad that she has to lie to cover her own guilt about your death. Mainly because she is the one that is responsible for you no longer being here with us, but then she lies and has tributes to you taken down. What the ‘person’ does not seem to understand is that she is not hurting me…..she is hurting you, all over again! It’s ok baby because the important people know the truth and the rest of them don’t matter! I hope that you kick her a*s when you see her and then send her to hell, because that is exactly where she belongs.

On another note, I am worried about sissy. Please watch over her tomorrow when we go to get to test done. She is scared and I am worried about her. She really could use her sister right now. It’s so sad that she does not have you here to help her with this. All she ever wanted  was for you 2 to be close, and you were until you were taken away from us. We love you so much and miss you more than you know.

Tomorrow at 1pm, ok honey. Send us a sign….please.

I hope you are finally resting, but with all the BS that the crazy is doing, you most likely are not.

I love you so so much

I guess the CRAZY finally realized that it was not worth fighting anymore and finally either hid her page or took it down all together! I wish that I could say that it was hacked, but I am sure that she just did something stupid, like she always does. Besides, I have no clue how to hack into anything!

I miss you. I had lunch with a friend of mine today and we talked about you and the convo that you and sissy had the night before you left us. I wish you would have said something to her about how you were feeling and we could have taken care of things for you. I would have driven across the world to save you from everything that was going on. I just wish you had reached out to me and said something…ANYTHING!!! I hate that you are gone and that we never get to see your face again, except in pictures and in our thoughts.

I love you, and so do your sisters…..

I need you to watch over your baby sister. She is very sick right now. We have been back and forth to the doctor and things just don’t seem to be getting better. We can’t get her better and it is truly scaring me. It’s like what happened 2 years ago. No one can make her feel better. I feel so bad for her and I want to take all of her sickness and her pain away, just like I wish I could have taken all of your pain and sadness away. Please please watch over her. We need her to get better. I am worried and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I love you sweetheart. You are our angel and I know you are watching over us.

is so sick and I really need you to watch over her. She needs all the help she can get right now. I don’t have to tell you how worried I have been about her and the fact that CRAZY is stirring up drama is not helping.

Please baby, just watch over Tee and make sure she gets better.

I love you~

Thank you for the rain baby….it was much needed and it made me wake up this morning and try and look at things in a different way, but I do have to tell you that I am tired of being threatened by CRAZY like you were. I love how she throws her attorneys name around and stating that she has gone to the police. I had dealt with those threats most of the time you were alive and now I still have to deal with them now that you are gone. I find it ridiculous that I just cannot have the opportunity to mourn you without her insane behavior always coming in to play. Why doesn’t she understand that everyone deserves the right to mourn you and to say the things that we want. She acts like she is all about not having your word silenced, well what about the rest of us? Last time I checked it was a free country and there is a thing called the freedom of speech! Any who how (that is so stupid by the way, I know you would never say anything like that) let her try and prove that I did anything wrong!! If you put something on the internet, then it’s free reign!!! DUH!! Not to mention the fact that they have pictures that I took of you up on that joke site! Funny that she does not state that I took the pictures. It’s funny that a few days ago she couldn’t afford the attorney, and now all of the sudden they are making a trip over to see him! Oh, ok….Did you just pull the 20k out of you ass? WHATEVS!!!!

I miss you sweetheart. I miss you so much. I think about when you were a baby an how sweet and adorable you were. It’s funny that you were so skinny when you grew up because I used to call you my chunky monkey when you were a baby because you were so fat!!! you were adorable and I just cannot believe that you had such a tortured soul my baby.

I love you…..don’t ever forget that…..I know you can see the truth…..