Brittany Rebecca Helton

that you left us. I remember hearing the news as if I had just heard it yesterday. It was 928am and I just got out of a meeting and put my phone down on my desk. It was on silent. I just happened to look down at it and saw that sissy was calling me, which was strange because she never calls me during the day while I’m at work. I answered the phone and she was crying. I thought something happened to Patton or to Jeff. She could barely tell me what was going on. I stopped in the hallway and that is when I heard her tell me that your dad called her and told her what you did. I asked her ‘What did you say?’ and she told me again. I guess at that point I lost it. I was crying and then I guess I started screaming and collapsed on the floor. Everyone in the office came out to see what was going on. I don’t remember much, but apparently I dropped my phone and sissy was still on it. I had to call Grandma and tell her. She was at the dentist office and did not answer the phone at first. Sissy called her, then I called her.

I haven’t slept without the help of medication for 8 weeks, and when I do sleep I don’t want to wake up. I don’t function well and as much as I try to focus and be productive, I can’t. I just don’t want to. I don’t feel like being social with anyone and just want to climb into bed and sleep. I look at pictures of you everyday. I think about you every second. I go on day to day because that’s what I have to do. I have to go on with everything because your baby sisters need me to. I struggle some days more than others. I look at your baby sister and she reminds me so much of you. She looks exactly like you and that scares me and makes me smile at the same time. I guess I have the best of both worlds….I have her, but I also have you.

There has been no drama for a week. Lets hope it stays that way and that crazy person is out of our lives forever! I hate the reason she is no longer in my life. Because you are gone….I would rather have dealt with the drama and her insane behavior rather than having to deal with the fact that my little girl is gone. I hate that your sisters no longer have you in their lives and that they have to tell people that you died. Especially Ashley. She was so looking forward to having you in the wedding and to be there with her on her special day. That is what sisters do. Sisters participate in each others lives, not just on the special days but EVERYDAY. Please watch over her. She is having a very difficult time and is lost without you.

I found your baby book and I flipped through it. It made me smile. It made me cry. I am not sure if I will ever be able to sit down and actually look through it to see what is in there. My little girl is gone and I just don’t know how to handle it all.

People can say what they want to say about me, but I love all of my girls and would do anything for them. I know that you know that and that you see it now. I would have done anything I could to help you if you had reached out to me. I will never hold anything against you and hope that you know that I love you and I always have and I always will. I hope you are resting peacefully my sweetheart and know that one day we will see each other again. Everything will be ok then.

Brittany, its been 7 weeks and she continues to carry on with the drama. Do you think she will ever realize how wrong she is? Do you think she will ever realize that you would not want this to happen? Do you think she even cares what you think? I don’t think she ever cared about you. She did the things she did to get to me. She hated me so much that she pushed you over the edge and caused you to do what you did. If you had been here I don’t think you would have had such thoughts.

Do you think she will ever stop telling lies about what really happened? Not just when you were growing up, but when you died also. They say that liars begin to believe their own lies. She cannot keep her stories straight. She is so dillusional that she truly believes what she is saying. She needs serious help and all I can do is pray for her. Gram says the best thing you can do for your enemies is to pray for them. I will do that and hope that she finds her way and that she is able to rid herself of the guilt that she is feeling over what happened to you and how she treated your sister.

I know that you are watching us and you see what is going on. I know you cannot be happy with the way she is carrying on and the fact that she is not allowing us to mourn you in peace. I know that you see that she is the one that is continuing on with the harassment and the drama and will just not let it go. I wish she would just leave us alone.

I miss you so much, and NOT MATTER what anyone says…I have always and will always love you! You and your sisters mean the world to me and I would give anything to have you back and out of the pain that you were in and the torment that you went through being there.

You have been gone 6 weeks today. Has it really been that long already? How could time continue to move when you are not here to move with it? How could you just leave us and not even have given it a thought before you left? Do you realize how much we miss you? Do you even care that your baby sisters will NEVER get to have the opportunity to learn things from you? They will never get a chance to want to be just like their big sister, like they do with Ashley. You will never be able to teach them how to be a proper young lady. They will never get to see you get married. They will never get to say that they are your childrens aunts. They will never really get a chance to mourn you, because they never got a chance to know you. You will never get to go to their high school graduation, or help them get ready to go to the prom, or see the look on their face when they get their first car. Instead, maybe, one day they will get to visit you and put flowers on your headstone. THAT is the kind of relationship they will have with you because you chose to end an amazing life. You chose to make us all hurt and sad that you are gone. You chose to NOT let us in and know that you were hurting so badly. I am angry…not at you, but at your choice to take you away from us. But, with all that anger, there is 10 times the love. I will always love you the way that I did when I first found out about you. I remember the day you were born, and the day you died, but I will cherish all of the times between.

Rest in peace my angel on this 6 week mark of your passing. 6 weeks without you is a lifetime. I love you so very much.

MOMMY

For all of you out there that have been hearing things about myself (Brittanys MOTHER) and Ashley, her sister, all I would like to say is that there definitely are 2 sides to every story. Most likely, the things that you are hearing are not true and are being fabricated by someone who may be feeling resentment against the 2 of us. The things that are being said are hateful and hurtful and will not be tolerated.

This page is to CELEBRATE the life that Brittany lived. I will not go into detail about the things that have been occurring since the death of my Brittany, but I will say that WE, her family, are hurting so much from not only the loss of our precious angel, but from the things that have happened. All we are asking for is time to mourn our loss, just as anyone else would. We are still in shock and disbelief that someone so full of light and life would choose to take the path she did just to end the pain and the hurt she was experiencing.

All I would ask from the responsible parties (and you know who you are) that are causing the heartache is to think about how Brittany would react if she knew how you were treating people that loved her so very much. Think about her and respect her memory.

My Brittany was born on July 3, 1991 at Nellis Air Force Base. We had just left El Paso after her father finished school and we were on leave here in Vegas. She was stubborn even before she was born! She was 3 weeks late and I was in labor with her for 33 hours. She was a BIG baby, weighing in a little over 8 lbs. She soon adopted the nickname ‘Chunky Monkey’! She was the cutest, fattest little thing who was a very happy baby! She was amazing and had the sweetest little smile. Her freckles came later on, and did they come on like gangbusters! (She gets those from me!!!)

She had a favorite baby and blanket that went EVERYWHERE with us! She would never let me wash them, so I would sneak in while she was napping and wash them and pull them out of the dryer before she even knew they were gone.

Brittany Rebecca Helton
July 3rd, 1991 – August 4th, 2010