Brittany Rebecca Helton

Remember that there are so so many people that love you and miss you so very much.

Remember that you can see the truth.

Remember that you can see the true colors of certain people.

Remember that just because you did not spend the last years of your life with me, that I will always be your mother and I will always love you just as much as I love your sisters.

Remember that no matter what, I did what I thought was best for your and your sister at the time. I had no way of getting you out and away from them. He took your passports and hid them.

Remember that you mean as much to me as your sisters do.

Remember that no matter what your were told, you were NEVER a burden to me.

Remember that your siblings are here.

Remember that life is not as bad as you may have thought it was.

Remember that any one of us could have saved you.

Remember that we will always ALWAYS love you.

Remember that we are not angry at you, but at what you did.

Remember that our hearts and our lives will NEVER be the same without you.

Remember that one day we will see each other again.

 
When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
Over and over your heart breaks
Without me in your life
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
I will love you forever
Even now my life is through
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
You are never alone
My arms are wrapped around you
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies

Author: Holly Graham

Brittany, I am worried about your Brett. He is back in communication with certain unstable individuals that made him feel so horrible over the past 4 1/2 months. I sent him a text message last night telling him that I would always be here for him and to not let anyone make him feel bad about anything. He has so much going on in his head and in his world, and all he wants is what everyone else wants…..to have you back and safe and have everything be ok. What I wouldn’t give to have that again!

I was laughing last night with Ben about when I was pregnant with you and how you used to shake your little bum around and I would watch it and Grandma would be in amazement at how you moved!! I had to sleep sitting almost straight up at 4 or 5 months along with you because you needed to stretch out, I guess. You pushed everything up into my rib cage and I could not breathe for the life of me! You were such a big baby! And such a fattie! My little chunky monkey! Who would have known that you would grow up to be such a petite tiny little thing? Always beautiful.

Christmas is  coming up and I am not in the mood. I put the tree up and the decorations up for your little sisters, but I truly do not feel that I can do this. I hate this feeling.

I love you~~~~

I forgot to tell you that sissy got a message a short time ago about this website from Sara asking if she could use it at a talk that she was going to be doing about teen suicide. It made me very happy to know that she would want to honor you in that way. I am so glad that even now, after you are gone, you can help someone in their own life. You were lucky to have such a great girl as Sara in your life that could help you through things when your sister was not there. You should have reached out to her to let her know that you were struggling. She could have tried to do something to help you get through the rough spots. She could have called someone for you.

I am so sorry that you felt that you could not reach out to someone, but hopefully now, you will be able to help another family from NOT having to go through the pain that all of us are going through on a daily basis.

Rest baby…..

Bitt, I feel lost without you. I may not have all the memories that others do of doing things with you, but I have your birth and the short visits we had as my memories. I may not know all of your friends, but I have some of your friends on facebook now. All I know is that I love you so much. I miss you so much. I would give anything to have you back with us. To have you safe and warm and loved and happy. I am sure you are all of those things wherever you might be, but I want you here….with me and your sisters. My heart breaks everyday when I think about you. I can hear you and see your little toothless smile that Christmas you were here when sissy was just 2 weeks old. That was the best Christmas I ever had! I’m struggling sweetheart with the fact that you are gone. I feel like my friends don’t understand what I am going through because they have not lost a child. All I want is to wrap my arms around you and tell you just how much I love you. I never had a chance to do that before you left. I hate the last conversation that we had, but now that I think about it, I doubt it was even you. I know that she was able to log into your facebook and that makes me weary about the fact that it was even you communicating with me. You would have never said such horrible things to me. The conversation started off really well, and I wish it would have stayed that way.

I miss you so much that there are days that I just want to curl up into a ball and shut the world off.

Today is your baby sisters birthday. She is 11 and as beautiful as you and your other sisters. She mentioned your name the other day and my heart sank. After she went to sleep I sat at the computer and looked at your pictures and cried. I miss you so much.

Today you have been gone 18 weeks. That seems like such a long time, but then it seems like just yesterday. I hate Wednesdays.

I think the craziness has stopped again….for now at least. Maybe something was said or she is finally starting to believe that she is not the only one that lost you. WE ALL lost the most amazing Brittany that ever lived.

I love you….have peace sweetheart.

Well, it was another night of tears and looking at your pictures and wondering WHY you did what you felt you needed to do, but I guess I get it….kinda. I know it could not have been easy for you to come to that decision, but I can see why you felt that was your only way out. After hearing things from sissy and Brett and others, it was obvious that you thought the only way out was to end it all. Well sweetheart, THAT WAS NOT THE ONLY WAY!! You could have called sissy, me or even grandma and we would have been there in a heartbeat, no questions asked. I would have walked to you if I had to just to save you from what you endured.

I find it hard to believe that it was ever your words that were spoken regarding sissy and I bullying you. I would have never in a million years even thought about doing that. I adore you, and your sisters and only want the best for all of you. Your sissy loved you (and still does) so very much and she would never hurt you. I think that things were being put into your head and that is all you ever heard, so for you, it made sense to believe them. I’m not angry at you for anything. I am angry at the people that fed you lies about me for so very long. I’m angry at the people that continue to tell those lies to anyone that will listen. And I am most angry that you were taken away from me and that you never got to know the truth while you were alive. Well, I know that you know the truth now.

I love you….remember, I always love you. I will always be your MOMMY and you will always be close to me.

ps….I hate driving to work and crying at the same time. I want to crawl into a cave and bring you with me

So, I had a rough night last night. I thought about you and all the torment you were made to deal with for the entire time that you were with your dad and your horrid step monster. I cried for about an hour knowing that they are responsible for your death. They are the reason why I will never get to see you get married, will never get to hold your babies, MY grandbabies and will never get to see you as an amazing mother, despite the crazy woman that called herself your mother. She never deserved to have you, let alone the monsters that she actually gave birth to. They are NOT your siblings. Your siblings are your sisters here. They miss you and so do I. That entire family is worthless. They can’t even see what kind of CRAZY that disgusting excuse for a human is!! She has gone off her rocker and hit the floor hard! She seriously needs to get some help and realize how much of a self centered BITCH she really is. And for her to call me the things that she did. I don’t think I have to tell you that she is no less of a whore! She is the one that broke her family up, not to mention your dad! WOW!! They are perfect for each other! 2 cheaters!!! I wonder if you found out that your loser dad was cheating again. Is that why you did what you did. It was bad enough that you had to deal with it the last time that it happened. What kind of a man makes his own daughter lie about something like that? A worthless one…that’s who.

They claim to have loved your sister, but not once have they even bothered to call and find out how she is holding up….but you know that already. I know you see what is going on. I can’t believe that I even cared how your dad was doing after you died. The funny thing is that I bet that crazy woman doesn’t even has a clue that your dad and I were talking before I came out to lay you to rest and we laughed with each other about the day you were born, and we cried with each other about the day you were born….and the fact that we lost you. We lost OUR baby. You were our little Chunky Monkey and we loved you so much.

I hope you are resting baby….I love you…G0odnight

Hey baby…..

So, today was your baby sister’s birthday party. She will be 11 on Wednesday. I cannot believe that she is that old already!! We wish that you were here to celebrate with us. She wanted an orange and purple cake with peace signs and stars on it, so that is what I made for her.  I remember when you came out for Christmas and she was only 2 weeks old and all you wanted to do was be around her. You would always ask me “mommy, where is the baby? Mommy, what’s the baby doing? Mommy, can I go look at the baby?” You were so sweet with her and such a little helper to me. That was one of the best Christmas’s I can remember. I had (at the time) all of my babies with me. (That obviously was before your littlest baby sister was born) I also found your christmas stocking. I’m going to hang it up with your sisters stockings. I know it will not bring you back to me, but at least you will be close to all of us.

I hope that you are resting well. Take care of great gram, and grandma Rita. There are a few others up there that I am sure are looking out for you. I hope that you are able to forget about all the bad things that happened to you in your short life, and remember and SEE who loves you.