Brittany Rebecca Helton

‘I will not be afraid to be still. I will savor the refreshments of silence. Perhaps the spirit of my loved one will join me.’

‘In my ability to endure I see a strength I didn’t know I had.’

‘I will take a small step – just one. In my mind’s eye, perhaps I can see my loved one nodding in encouragement – “Yes. Go on. You can. I am with you.” ‘

‘Sometimes in my darkness I can believe I am held in a love which supports all creation. Not always, but sometimes.’

‘Sometimes it is hard for me to go into groups. But my connections to other people are the flow of life to me.’

‘Nothing is to be gained by turning away from the truth. When the circumstances of my life are grim, I will face the grimness, learn what it has to teach me, and walk on through.’

Hello, Old Friend,
Oh, yes, you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Don’t look away
And change the subject
It’s ok.
You see, at first I couldn’t feel,
It took so long, but now it’s real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, “My, she is so strong.”
They did not know I couldn’t feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me…
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on, you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
“But I thought you were over it,”
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.
And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I’ve just said to you in my heart.

Copyright © 2002 Kelly Cummings. All rights reserved.

‘I look forward to the day when images of my loved one’s life are no longer associated with the event of my loved one’s death.’

“And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in nay heart, so wide an deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!”

– Charles Dickens

‘I am grateful for those who reach out to me, and for the opportunities I will have to reach out to others.’