Brittany Rebecca Helton

What a huge success it was on Saturday Feb 9, 2013! There were over 400 people at the walk ( and we are thinking closer to 500) and the valley raised close to our $25,000 goal! We are at $24,850. We are so close to reaching it, but we did hit all times highs on walker participation and money raised!

It was so cold that day, but still so many people came out to support such an incredible cause!! I know you were there also! I know you were watching us to make sure that everyone was ok.

You don’t know Dan, but he is a friend of sister’s and he was the Celebration of Life Speaker. He told a moving story about his friend Roswell, whom we also honored this year as part of our walk team. I know that you have already met him and have become long time friends. I wish I had the chance to meet him also. He sounds like he was an amazing young man.

I hope you are resting peacefully knowing that we are continuing your fight down here.

This last weekend, I had the opportunity to spend some time with some amazing, inspiring individuals that represented 59 chapters from 37 states from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I met mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, daughters, sons, sisters brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who all have been affected by the tragedy of suicide.

One woman that I found extremely interesting was the mother of one of the shooters from the Columbine tragedy. She held her head high and was such an amazingly strong woman that I had the incredible opportunity to have a moment to speak with. She still, after all this time, lives in the town where the tragedy took place. Not caring what people thought of her. Not caring that people are still judging her for what her son did. She brought me to tears. I am forever moved by her.

So many people with so many sad stories to tell, and there they all were….trying to make this a world without suicide. Trying to help others not feel the pain that we all feel on a daily basis.

The 3 days were filled with conferences that provided some interesting information, and some controversial and enlightening conversation. I walked away feeling a renewed sense of energy and hope to get the Las Vegas Chapter up and running and to hopefully be as successful as some of the other chapters that have been running for some time. They are my guiding light, just like you are.

It’s because of you that I have the energy to do this. You and your sisters are what keep me going on a daily basis. I am nothing without the 4 of you.

 Happy New Year my angel! I hope that you had an amazing party up there with all of your new friends! There have been so many people lost this year and I know that you are watching over them, especially all the little children that have been taken from the families and loved ones too soon, just like you were.

Continue to do the work that you are doing….Pet Bubby, Sasha, Daisy and the rest of the pets that are there? I know how much you loved animals and I am sure that you are surrounded by them all the time. You probably go out looking for them just to be close to them! That does not surprise me about you. You get that from me. Your sisters are the same way when it comes to animals. It must be in our genes.

2012 was a very strange and trying year for all of us, but I don’t have to tell you that. There were also some very good things that happened. This last year brought some very old friends back into my life. 2 very dear friends that I was close to when you were just a baby have resurfaced as well as some others that I was in the military with. It’s funny what time will do to people. We never stopped thinking about each other and then POOF…we were reconnected. My relationship with grandma is better and stronger than it has been in a very long time. We talk about everything and we talk about you alot. We miss you so much and we are still so lost without you.

Sister and brother are getting ready for a big move this year. Sissy is very excited about it….wish I could say the same. She will not be within driving distance so it is going to be more difficult to see her. I am going to miss her like crazy. I guess I will have to rack up those frequent flyer miles.

Sheridan became a cheerleader this year and she is so stinking cute in her uniform! Her legs are a mile long!! She is in 6th grade and is such an amazing little girl…well, not a little girl anymore. She is now a teenager and is quite the little lady.

Tee is still doing her girl scouts and she reminds me so much of you. The looks that she gives and her features are so you!! She is 10 now but it seems like she is going on 23! She makes me laugh, she touches me with her generosity and she makes me cry with her feelings.

We all love you and miss you so much my itty bitty. I cannot believe that it has been almost 2 1/2 years since you left us. You and I missed out on so much, but now all of us are missing out on so much more. We will never get to see that gorgeous smile ever again, so we keep that photo in our minds and we look at it all the time.

Rest in peace my angel. I will see you again one day on the other side.

Yet another Christmas has passed that you are not here. It was a quiet day for us. Sister and brother were here for the day only and were quite busy with visiting everyone. Your baby sisters are always so much fun to be around. We opened presents and then had breakfast. Nothing major. I just did not feel in the spirit this year. If it had not been for your sisters, I would not have even bothered with everything.

I am missing you something fierce this year. Not sure what is going on with me.

I love you. Rest in peace my angel, until I see you on the other side.

‘All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.’

‘I will trust my friends to hear me in love and understanding.’

‘The created world is one and embraces us all, the living and the dead.’

“Shall we live in myster and yet conduct ourselves as though everything were known?”

– Christopher Fry

“My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the lessons they can teach.”

– Anne Wilson Schaef

“Grace stikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness…Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying “You are accepted.””

– Paul Tillich

‘For this moment, at least, I will let go of all those questions about my self-worth and know that I am acceptable just as I am.’